Family Time

Wow, this week has been nice.

I left for Nana's funeral on Wednesday evening, and me, Jeffrey, and Debbie went to the viewing when we got there. It was open casket, and I have to say, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. First of all, it all just seemed so unreal... in multiple ways. It was so weird to think that Nana was gone, and that body was all there was left of her. It was just... I don't know. It made me cry. And secondly, her body hardly seemed like it had been a real, living person. It almost seemed fake. And I have to be honest, fake people, manikins, and things like that scare me. I always feel like they'll just come alive and grad me. So her body did honestly scare me a little. But eventually I got up the courage to touch her hand, and her cheek. The best way I could figure out how to describe how it felt was like a rose petal. Not quite as smooth, but surprisingly similar. Man, the whole thing... just... unreal.

The funeral was the next morning. My first one. It was a beautiful service. All of the grandkids that were there sang the primary song, A Child's Prayer. I love that song. But I had a really, really hard time with it. Before we even started, my dad gave the eulogy. And he started crying as he finished. And I never see my dad cry. So I started losing it at that point, and there was no hope for me while singing. There I was, pretty much in the front of the group (except for some little kids), trying so hard to sing while tears were just streaming down my face. I was a mess. And I was crying for pretty much the whole service, off and on.

Other than all of that, the majority of the week that I spent in Willard was great. I loved it. I actually got to meet a few cousins that I had never met before. That's always odd. But it was just so fun to be there with everyone. And I absolutely loved being with Cody and Chanelle for a few days. Fortunately, after I gave my supervisor at work a second call, he told me not to worry about work on Friday, he'd take care of it, and I could stay. That was awesome. I'm so glad I got to spend that time with my family. Me, Cody, and Chanelle had a lot of fun, and did our share of crazy and stupid things. I really, really can't wait to be home. Mentally, I'm finished with the semester. My brain has been shutting down for a while now, and I just really want to go home. I just feel like I don't really care about this semester any more. Hardly, anyway. I know in my head that I'm going to kick myself for not getting better grades, but I just can't shake it. Most of this just seems so trivial right now. I feel like I have senioritis all over again. I just... don't want to be here anymore. I want a break from school. I'm ready to be at home with my family. I'm ready to see my old friends. Just a little over a month, and I'm out of here.