Oh man, so my audition was this morning. The whole morning I just felt this sense of utter dread... when I finally went to the HFAC, I signed in and everything, and then waited for a warm-up room. My warm-up was actually pretty good. That made me feel just the slightest bit better.
In my audition, I had to play through... I dunno, five scales? Give or take. And I did them alright. And then played my Mozart piece. It was... well... I suppose it was okay, but most definitely not as good as it was in warm-up. It could've been worse, but it could've been much better. And then I had this dumb sight-reading thing... I don't even know about those. I mean, I can play parts of it, but seriously, at least half the time I have no clue if I'm even hitting the right notes. Gosh I hate having so many fingerings for every note on horn. So I get through enough of that to satisfy him, and I'm out. Oh, yeah, and you know the thing he said to me before I left? He was talking about how for some reason or another this year was especially competitive for horn, and apparently there were quite a few people trying out and only so many open spots. So he said that hopefully it wouldn't be me, be someone had to have their heart broken. It has to happen to someone. Oh, good gracious, thanks, that's really comforting after I've freaked out about this stupid audition enough already! I'm sure he says that to everybody (I hope)... but still... NOT comforting.
On the way out, back to the dorms, I started crying again. I was just so stressed out... I mean seriously, it's only like, the most important audition of my life so far. So why shouldn't I be a little stressed? And honestly, if I fail to make it in once again... I don't even know. I'm so tired of trying to figure out what the heck I'm "supposed" to do, or what I'm "meant" to do. Doesn't it make sense to just do something that I "want" to do, or that I will "enjoy" doing? Seriously. So yeah... no pressure, right? I just really hope I make it in. I don't want to be the one with my heart broken again.
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