School is completely over! I finished all of my finals by Tuesday evening. And I have to say, I did pretty well on my finals. I got a 94, 87, two 90s, 97, and a 95 (which apparently is now 100, because he dropped three questions or something). The only one I don't know is my jazz final. Which... whatever. The 87 and the 94 are for the same class, we have two different finals in that class, basically... and for that test, an 87 was pretty good. So yeah. Take that finals. I still don't think my overall grades or my GPA will be as good as they were last semester (GPA last semester wasn't even as good as I had hoped), so many things have been going on this semester... but as far as my finals went, I'm a winner.
So I was done with school by Tuesday night, technically. But I still had a marching band audition today, so I was done with school, but at the same time, not exactly. So I had my audition today, and I think it went alright. I could've played better, but I don't think I played poorly. I hope. I'm not thrilled with the idea of going through not making it again, so hopefully my audition was good.
Sarah left this morning. Her aunt picked her up at like 9:30-ish, and took her to the airport. Her flight was at 11:30 or something. So yeah... I'm just chillin' alone. I thought I would be really bored, but I have actually hardly even been in my room. We'll see how the next few days are, though I don't think they'll be bad either. And while I'm sitting here at my desk, and when I go to sleep in the dorm bed, she's sleeping at home, probably much more comfortable... it sounds so nice. I wish I was at home tonight. Oh well. Sunday night I will be.
I also bought Super Smash Brothers Brawl today! Yay! :D It's so fun... the funny thing is, I don't even own a Wii yet... but I bought it, and took it to Jeffrey's house to play. This summer I'm planning to buy a Wii... when I can find one... but yeah. Brawl is awesome. And I'll probably go over to his house tomorrow and Friday to play, as well. I have absolutely no plans for my days other than working both nights, so that's what's probably going to happen. What an awesome game.
So yeah. School is completely over. I have Brawl. I'm about to go home. Life is good.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Insert Title Here
...'cause seriously, thinking is getting old.
This week has been insane. I had so much stuff due by Wednesday, I could hardly breathe. Like... five assignments, two quizzes, and a final project, along with three test things for work. I was so busy at the beginning of the week with this stuff. After that, I had to study for a health test and wrote a few more short papers for other classes. Tomorrow I have to get up early to prepare a lesson for Sunday school, and then get that teaching over with (I only have to teach twice more this semester), then study for another Book of Mormon quiz, an exam in Music Civilization, prepare my oral presentation that is my final for English, and study for my beginning jazz test - all for Monday. My recital thing for private lessons is also on Monday, which could go pretty well, or pretty badly. I'm hoping the former. I also took like 3 or 4 online quizzes today. When all of this is over... really good times.
Work is going fine. I never look forward to going, but it's usually pretty good anyway. And maybe it's a nice few hours to not have to worry about anything else. Well... maybe. Whatever. The thing that bothers me every now and then, is that since I'm the "rookie" I've been blamed for a couple of silly things that people have done. Really, it's no big deal, so I gave up defending myself and I just accept it. Overall, it doesn't really matter anyway. Also, since I work with a crew of guys, the supervisor calls me a man as well, and usually calls me Ashton instead of Ashley. Which is kind of funny, I think, considering my nephew is named Ashton. :) Yeah... but that situation can get kind of weird sometimes, when he purposely asks me weird questions as if I'm a guy, like asking me things about going out with girls, and once he persisted in asking me if I live and sleep in the same room as another girl... yeah, it's just kind of weird sometimes. But he's a cool guy. And anyway, he won't be here next year, because he's leaving on his mission, so I just have to put up with it for two more weeks.
Pretty soon I'll have to start packing up my room... yeah, that'll be interesting. My stuff is all over the place. At the beginning of last semester, I was so proud of myself - I made my bed every morning, I kept my stuff put away and everything most of the time... eventually, that cleanliness gave way to chaos. Psh. Oh well. I really enjoy packing, most of the time. But we'll see how this goes - I'll have to put everything I have in this room away somewhere. It'll take me some time, that's for sure.
And now, to get away from the dread and anticipation of tomorrow, I think I'll go to bed.
This week has been insane. I had so much stuff due by Wednesday, I could hardly breathe. Like... five assignments, two quizzes, and a final project, along with three test things for work. I was so busy at the beginning of the week with this stuff. After that, I had to study for a health test and wrote a few more short papers for other classes. Tomorrow I have to get up early to prepare a lesson for Sunday school, and then get that teaching over with (I only have to teach twice more this semester), then study for another Book of Mormon quiz, an exam in Music Civilization, prepare my oral presentation that is my final for English, and study for my beginning jazz test - all for Monday. My recital thing for private lessons is also on Monday, which could go pretty well, or pretty badly. I'm hoping the former. I also took like 3 or 4 online quizzes today. When all of this is over... really good times.
Work is going fine. I never look forward to going, but it's usually pretty good anyway. And maybe it's a nice few hours to not have to worry about anything else. Well... maybe. Whatever. The thing that bothers me every now and then, is that since I'm the "rookie" I've been blamed for a couple of silly things that people have done. Really, it's no big deal, so I gave up defending myself and I just accept it. Overall, it doesn't really matter anyway. Also, since I work with a crew of guys, the supervisor calls me a man as well, and usually calls me Ashton instead of Ashley. Which is kind of funny, I think, considering my nephew is named Ashton. :) Yeah... but that situation can get kind of weird sometimes, when he purposely asks me weird questions as if I'm a guy, like asking me things about going out with girls, and once he persisted in asking me if I live and sleep in the same room as another girl... yeah, it's just kind of weird sometimes. But he's a cool guy. And anyway, he won't be here next year, because he's leaving on his mission, so I just have to put up with it for two more weeks.
Pretty soon I'll have to start packing up my room... yeah, that'll be interesting. My stuff is all over the place. At the beginning of last semester, I was so proud of myself - I made my bed every morning, I kept my stuff put away and everything most of the time... eventually, that cleanliness gave way to chaos. Psh. Oh well. I really enjoy packing, most of the time. But we'll see how this goes - I'll have to put everything I have in this room away somewhere. It'll take me some time, that's for sure.
And now, to get away from the dread and anticipation of tomorrow, I think I'll go to bed.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Hold On Tight!
Man, I tell you what, my life feels crazy sometimes.
There's a week and two days left of classes, and then finals. This is definitely a good thing - except this means that all the things I've gotten behind on, I have to get them all wrapped up real soon! Ack! But once this is all over, I will be so relieved. Holy cow. School is intense right now, but in exactly three weeks from today, I leave for home. I would probably be leaving sooner than that, except I have to stay until a certain time for work. Oh well, I'm cool with that.
Oh, and here's me just always wondering what to do with the rest of my life. I swear, I change my mind so much, and then I'm still always lost and confused... it drives me insane. I know it's not uncommon, but I still don't like it. Eventually, though, I'll have things figured out. Just wait and see. The latest thing I've considered doing is majoring in neuroscience and psychology. (With a music minor.) Sounds interesting, at least I think. We'll see if that actually goes anywhere. ;)
Anyway, that pretty much wraps up the important stuff. I have way too much on my mind right now to bother with the little things.
There's a week and two days left of classes, and then finals. This is definitely a good thing - except this means that all the things I've gotten behind on, I have to get them all wrapped up real soon! Ack! But once this is all over, I will be so relieved. Holy cow. School is intense right now, but in exactly three weeks from today, I leave for home. I would probably be leaving sooner than that, except I have to stay until a certain time for work. Oh well, I'm cool with that.
Oh, and here's me just always wondering what to do with the rest of my life. I swear, I change my mind so much, and then I'm still always lost and confused... it drives me insane. I know it's not uncommon, but I still don't like it. Eventually, though, I'll have things figured out. Just wait and see. The latest thing I've considered doing is majoring in neuroscience and psychology. (With a music minor.) Sounds interesting, at least I think. We'll see if that actually goes anywhere. ;)
Anyway, that pretty much wraps up the important stuff. I have way too much on my mind right now to bother with the little things.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Blah
This weekend, I went to my grandparents' house for Easter. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. I wasn't planning to do anything in particular for Easter, but Cameron offered for me to come up to Nana and Poppy's with him and Tyler (cousins). I kept changing my mind, but in the end I decided to go with them. And I'm glad I did. It was really good to spend Easter with everyone who was still at their house.
When I got back from that on Sunday night, though, I had all of this homework to do... study for a Book of Mormon quiz, study for a Book of Mormon test (Monday was the last day to do both), and write a draft of my issue paper for English. Which I have actually managed to still not do. >_>
Last night, I ended up having a small breakdown. I can't pinpoint exactly what it was, but it must've been due to a mixture of emotional exhaustion I've been going through, feeling overwhelmed by school, and being homesick. I can hardly take it anymore. And the thought that I keep thinking to myself is "I don't want to be here." I just can't do this anymore right now. I really just want nothing more than to go home.
Bleh. Then today was... well, I've had better days. Tonight I worked. Which is good. I never really look forward to work, but I always enjoy it more than I think I will. And when I'm not too happy, usually I feel better after I go to work. I'm not exactly sure why... I guess I just like to work with the guys I work with. So, that was good times. And now I'm okay.
When I got back from that on Sunday night, though, I had all of this homework to do... study for a Book of Mormon quiz, study for a Book of Mormon test (Monday was the last day to do both), and write a draft of my issue paper for English. Which I have actually managed to still not do. >_>
Last night, I ended up having a small breakdown. I can't pinpoint exactly what it was, but it must've been due to a mixture of emotional exhaustion I've been going through, feeling overwhelmed by school, and being homesick. I can hardly take it anymore. And the thought that I keep thinking to myself is "I don't want to be here." I just can't do this anymore right now. I really just want nothing more than to go home.
Bleh. Then today was... well, I've had better days. Tonight I worked. Which is good. I never really look forward to work, but I always enjoy it more than I think I will. And when I'm not too happy, usually I feel better after I go to work. I'm not exactly sure why... I guess I just like to work with the guys I work with. So, that was good times. And now I'm okay.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Family Time
Wow, this week has been nice.
I left for Nana's funeral on Wednesday evening, and me, Jeffrey, and Debbie went to the viewing when we got there. It was open casket, and I have to say, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. First of all, it all just seemed so unreal... in multiple ways. It was so weird to think that Nana was gone, and that body was all there was left of her. It was just... I don't know. It made me cry. And secondly, her body hardly seemed like it had been a real, living person. It almost seemed fake. And I have to be honest, fake people, manikins, and things like that scare me. I always feel like they'll just come alive and grad me. So her body did honestly scare me a little. But eventually I got up the courage to touch her hand, and her cheek. The best way I could figure out how to describe how it felt was like a rose petal. Not quite as smooth, but surprisingly similar. Man, the whole thing... just... unreal.
The funeral was the next morning. My first one. It was a beautiful service. All of the grandkids that were there sang the primary song, A Child's Prayer. I love that song. But I had a really, really hard time with it. Before we even started, my dad gave the eulogy. And he started crying as he finished. And I never see my dad cry. So I started losing it at that point, and there was no hope for me while singing. There I was, pretty much in the front of the group (except for some little kids), trying so hard to sing while tears were just streaming down my face. I was a mess. And I was crying for pretty much the whole service, off and on.
Other than all of that, the majority of the week that I spent in Willard was great. I loved it. I actually got to meet a few cousins that I had never met before. That's always odd. But it was just so fun to be there with everyone. And I absolutely loved being with Cody and Chanelle for a few days. Fortunately, after I gave my supervisor at work a second call, he told me not to worry about work on Friday, he'd take care of it, and I could stay. That was awesome. I'm so glad I got to spend that time with my family. Me, Cody, and Chanelle had a lot of fun, and did our share of crazy and stupid things. I really, really can't wait to be home. Mentally, I'm finished with the semester. My brain has been shutting down for a while now, and I just really want to go home. I just feel like I don't really care about this semester any more. Hardly, anyway. I know in my head that I'm going to kick myself for not getting better grades, but I just can't shake it. Most of this just seems so trivial right now. I feel like I have senioritis all over again. I just... don't want to be here anymore. I want a break from school. I'm ready to be at home with my family. I'm ready to see my old friends. Just a little over a month, and I'm out of here.
I left for Nana's funeral on Wednesday evening, and me, Jeffrey, and Debbie went to the viewing when we got there. It was open casket, and I have to say, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. First of all, it all just seemed so unreal... in multiple ways. It was so weird to think that Nana was gone, and that body was all there was left of her. It was just... I don't know. It made me cry. And secondly, her body hardly seemed like it had been a real, living person. It almost seemed fake. And I have to be honest, fake people, manikins, and things like that scare me. I always feel like they'll just come alive and grad me. So her body did honestly scare me a little. But eventually I got up the courage to touch her hand, and her cheek. The best way I could figure out how to describe how it felt was like a rose petal. Not quite as smooth, but surprisingly similar. Man, the whole thing... just... unreal.
The funeral was the next morning. My first one. It was a beautiful service. All of the grandkids that were there sang the primary song, A Child's Prayer. I love that song. But I had a really, really hard time with it. Before we even started, my dad gave the eulogy. And he started crying as he finished. And I never see my dad cry. So I started losing it at that point, and there was no hope for me while singing. There I was, pretty much in the front of the group (except for some little kids), trying so hard to sing while tears were just streaming down my face. I was a mess. And I was crying for pretty much the whole service, off and on.
Other than all of that, the majority of the week that I spent in Willard was great. I loved it. I actually got to meet a few cousins that I had never met before. That's always odd. But it was just so fun to be there with everyone. And I absolutely loved being with Cody and Chanelle for a few days. Fortunately, after I gave my supervisor at work a second call, he told me not to worry about work on Friday, he'd take care of it, and I could stay. That was awesome. I'm so glad I got to spend that time with my family. Me, Cody, and Chanelle had a lot of fun, and did our share of crazy and stupid things. I really, really can't wait to be home. Mentally, I'm finished with the semester. My brain has been shutting down for a while now, and I just really want to go home. I just feel like I don't really care about this semester any more. Hardly, anyway. I know in my head that I'm going to kick myself for not getting better grades, but I just can't shake it. Most of this just seems so trivial right now. I feel like I have senioritis all over again. I just... don't want to be here anymore. I want a break from school. I'm ready to be at home with my family. I'm ready to see my old friends. Just a little over a month, and I'm out of here.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Good Days Ahead
Well, things are going alright at the moment. :)
My grandma's funeral is this Thursday. So I'll at least be gone on Thursday, and probably Wednesday night and Friday as well. I just have to make sure someone at work can take my shift on those nights... but I'm guessing that'll work. So I'll miss a little bit of school. But I don't really care. And I don't think it'll be that hard to catch up anyway. The good news is, my parents, Cody, and Chanelle all came up for the funeral. I can't wait to see them. I've seen my parents (especially my mom) more than anyone has seen them their Freshman year of college, so that was pretty lucky. I especially can't wait to see Cody and Chanelle. Of course, the whole time we're there isn't going to just be good times - there is a 100% chance of tears at whatever point - but it'll be nice, regardless.
The other good news is, I just bought two tickets to the Video Games Live concert on March 29th, in Salt Lake City. I guess it just didn't work out with my cousin's friends, so we're just going with us two. It was costly, but it'll be worth it. I love video game music. And to hear it and see it live... amazing. Not to mention they have some cool special effects. I can't wait.
Oh yeah, but the bad news is... my iPod might be broken... and I have no idea how. I plugged it in to my laptop, just like I always do when I charge it or put more songs on it. And as far as I could tell, iTunes didn't read it, but my iPod showed the little charging icon... but it didn't do that "Do Not Disconnect" thing that it normally does... and it wouldn't respond to anything I did... so I ended up just having to pull it out, and it's still like it was when I tried to hook it up - it has the charging icon, but seems to be completely frozen. The heck.
My grandma's funeral is this Thursday. So I'll at least be gone on Thursday, and probably Wednesday night and Friday as well. I just have to make sure someone at work can take my shift on those nights... but I'm guessing that'll work. So I'll miss a little bit of school. But I don't really care. And I don't think it'll be that hard to catch up anyway. The good news is, my parents, Cody, and Chanelle all came up for the funeral. I can't wait to see them. I've seen my parents (especially my mom) more than anyone has seen them their Freshman year of college, so that was pretty lucky. I especially can't wait to see Cody and Chanelle. Of course, the whole time we're there isn't going to just be good times - there is a 100% chance of tears at whatever point - but it'll be nice, regardless.
The other good news is, I just bought two tickets to the Video Games Live concert on March 29th, in Salt Lake City. I guess it just didn't work out with my cousin's friends, so we're just going with us two. It was costly, but it'll be worth it. I love video game music. And to hear it and see it live... amazing. Not to mention they have some cool special effects. I can't wait.
Oh yeah, but the bad news is... my iPod might be broken... and I have no idea how. I plugged it in to my laptop, just like I always do when I charge it or put more songs on it. And as far as I could tell, iTunes didn't read it, but my iPod showed the little charging icon... but it didn't do that "Do Not Disconnect" thing that it normally does... and it wouldn't respond to anything I did... so I ended up just having to pull it out, and it's still like it was when I tried to hook it up - it has the charging icon, but seems to be completely frozen. The heck.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Pi Day
Today started out so promising.
I woke up early, to work on my issue paper for English. I thought the first draft was due today, but I found out that it's not due until next Friday. So, that's pretty awesome. I love sleep.
And today was just cool because it's pi day. Good times.
But my grandma, Nana Jake, passed away today... we all knew it was going to happen soon. In fact, we didn't expect her to last as long as she did. But it doesn't make it go away. She was diagnosed with cancer - throat cancer, I believe it was - less than a year ago. Unfortunately, it was already pretty far along. And I've been visiting my grandparents' house a few times recently with my family, to help out, and to be with her just a little longer before she went. The thing is, the way she's been living recently, it was much better for her to leave us. And we all wanted it for her. And I know that she's so happy now. I do. But it's still hard for the rest of us, because now she's just... gone. I loved her so much. And her heart was so filled with love for everyone. It's so hard to think that she's not here anymore.
I have to be honest, school just feels pointless right now. Everything does. But I guess I have to keep on working anyway.
I love you, Nana. I'll miss you so much.
I woke up early, to work on my issue paper for English. I thought the first draft was due today, but I found out that it's not due until next Friday. So, that's pretty awesome. I love sleep.
And today was just cool because it's pi day. Good times.
But my grandma, Nana Jake, passed away today... we all knew it was going to happen soon. In fact, we didn't expect her to last as long as she did. But it doesn't make it go away. She was diagnosed with cancer - throat cancer, I believe it was - less than a year ago. Unfortunately, it was already pretty far along. And I've been visiting my grandparents' house a few times recently with my family, to help out, and to be with her just a little longer before she went. The thing is, the way she's been living recently, it was much better for her to leave us. And we all wanted it for her. And I know that she's so happy now. I do. But it's still hard for the rest of us, because now she's just... gone. I loved her so much. And her heart was so filled with love for everyone. It's so hard to think that she's not here anymore.
I have to be honest, school just feels pointless right now. Everything does. But I guess I have to keep on working anyway.
I love you, Nana. I'll miss you so much.
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