This week has been so odd. It was fantastic to have Monday off. Wootness. And then we had Monday instruction on Tuesday. So Tuesday and Wednesday were like, the same thing. That was a little odd. And so then I kept thinking that the next day would be Friday, instead of Thursday. You'd think that it'd be the other way, since this school week was shorter... but I guess since... I don't really know. :P And now today has seemed like a long day. Going to class, breakfast, lunch... I have to remind myself that they were today.
And speaking of going to classes today... it was really good times. I had Music Civ at 8, and English at 9. The end. Yay. Music Civ was good times, because we just continued going over Romantic music. And that is some pretty great stuff. And in English we took a punctuation quiz, no biggie, and then a couple people read their opinion editorials (hooray that I wasn't one of them). And then we talked about commercials and the idea was to analyze them, but it ended being more along the lines of just talking about commercials we liked. And yet again, I was spared, and didn't have to share a commercial of my choosing. And then normally on Fridays I have a two hour gap, and then Psychology at noon. But I guess we're doing well enough with the schedule that we didn't have to meet today. Sweet. Two morning classes, and I'm finished for the day by 10. :)
So today I was just on my laptop, doing my thing, and I got an e-mail from the School of Music. With my results. Definitely unexpected... I thought I'd get a letter not an e-mail. It turns out that I was rejected... again. I had a sinking feeling that I would be, but I still hoped. My future is a complete blur at this point. I don't know if I plan to keep trying, or try something different... right now, I'm just not sure. I'll be alright, though. I'm just tired of trying, since every time I try I just fail. I'm shattered and heartbroken. But you know what? I'll be okay. This is just one of those moments where I can say, "Screw you, BYU. Screw you School of Music," and continue moving forward. I'll decide if I intend to audition for a third time later, but I don't feel like worrying about that now. Just one step at a time.
2 comments:
Oh Fluff.... :( I'm so sorry that BYU can't see your talent, love. I don't know *what* they're problem is- I mean, come on! You were in Wind Ensemble, you went to the Midwest Clinic, you were a member of orchestra for *how* many years? In short I'm trying to say DO NOT let this make you think that you're in some way inadequate in music or in life- because you're not! This could be God's way of showing you a different path that he wants you to go on. I can't explain away why you wouldn't get in a second time, but remember I care a lot about you, and so do a lot of other people! <3 r
That's right screw you school of music atleast have the decency to send a letter and spend the 41 cents.
Remember when I said dang you for having so many talents Ashley? I hope you love art class and things will resolve themselves before you know it! Don't worry for even a minute... call me if you want to cry and vent because let's be honest it's not fair!
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